Field Notes

The comedian Jeff Foxworthy delighted his fans in the 1990s with a never-ending string of one-liners about how to tell if they might be a redneck. 

Foxworthy was poking fun at the ridiculous nature of being a full-blown yokel. For instance, “You might be a redneck if you carry a fishing pole into SeaWorld.” He coined hundreds of others. 

Working from Foxworthy’s creative genius, we thought it might be fun to concoct the same sort of one-liners concerning micromanagers. 

What constitutes micromanagement is well known. Micromanagers dictate and control nearly every move of those they lead and manage. Their controlling nature robs team members of the independent action, risk-taking, and creative problem-solving essential for personal development. 

No one likes to be micromanaged, but that doesn’t prevent leaders with extremely high standards and a deep insecurity about results from deploying this coercive style. Like so-called rednecks, many micromanagers remain completely unaware that they have the tendency to overly control others. 

So, here is our list of 10 humorous but insightful “tells” of micromanagers: 

You might be a micromanager if people sit and wait for your instructions so they don’t make the mistakes your Gantt chart predicts they will. 

You might be a micromanager if you rip work assignments away from team members and do them yourself in a locked closet. 

You might be a micromanager if your refusal to delegate any task leads the local Starbucks to serve team members lined up outside of your office waiting for your approvals. 

You might be a micromanager if team members need your permission to do just about anything, including saying nasty things about you with their inner voice.  

You might be a micromanager if you give people just enough information to execute a part of the assignment but withhold the rest until they prove they are worthy of the next batch. 

You might be a micromanager if the frequency with which you check on the progress of an assignment is best measured in seconds and minutes. 

You might be a micromanager if you issue hall passes so you know exactly where everyone is at all times.

You might be a micromanager if you tell people who are experts at what they do how to complete their tasks by outlining the details on cocktail napkins. 

You might be a micromanager if the team has created a special therapy group to work through their issues with your leadership style. 

You might be a micromanager if you read this list and wonder what the point is.