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The Philosophy of Breaking People Down Before Building Them Up
Military training in much of the world relies on a philosophy of breaking old habits, reshaping identity, and instilling discipline to prepare soldiers for the rigors of combat. Military academies describe the process as “tearing down to build up.”
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Team Members Who Wait to be Told What to Do.
Common wisdom would suggest that team members who wait to be told what to do lack initiative or are less engaged than they should be. But while some team members do prefer to “clock in” and receive instructions, the leader is usually to blame for their lack of drive and resourcefulness.
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Do You Ask and Answer Your Own Questions?
To guide an audience’s reasoning about an issue, leaders sometimes ask and answer their own questions. The ancient Greeks coined the term hypophora to describe the device speakers and writers use to ask a question and then immediately answer it themselves. Some examples: “Why do we need to change? Because if we don’t, our competitors…
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The Anticlimax of Achieving a Big Goal
Leaders commonly feel a letdown after achieving a long-sought goal. The big prize becomes a source of hope, identity, future happiness, and self-worth. When it is finally reached, reality can feel smaller than the energy spent chasing it. Pursuit creates momentum and meaning. Working toward something big gives the everyday structure and focus. People depend…
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The Art of Indirect Confrontation
People disagree when they hold opposing views, opinions, or positions. The struggle is over who is right or whose argument is stronger. When people confront, they often pose a direct challenge to the rules, standards, or values governing the relationship or team. Confrontation expresses dissatisfaction over the other party’s violation of an implicit or explicit…
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Why Do Leaders Tolerate Poor Performers?
Tolerating poor performers is a common failure for far too many leaders. Inexplicably, leaders and managers who know better cover for weak performers and offer a wide variety of rationalizations for doing so. In many cases, they believe showing loyalty to a colleague supersedes short-term effectiveness. They err on the side of giving people a…
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Revisiting the Johari Window
Developed in 1955 by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham, the Johari Window has long been a mainstay of self-awareness work. Countless therapists, counselors, and coaches use the model to help people understand themselves and their relationships with others. The Johari Window is divided into four quadrants, based on what you know about yourself and what others…
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High Performers Must Manage the Expectations of Others or Be Judged Unfairly
The performance of top talent is judged more harshly than that of others. That’s because their past successes and outcomes form a higher bar and baseline for the future. The more they excel, the more people expect it. This makes exceptional performance in the eyes of others more difficult to attain. Once high performance becomes…
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Giving Feedback to Team Members Who Overcorrect
Giving Feedback to Team Members Who Overcorrect
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People Who Didn’t Receive Praise as Children
People who grew up without receiving much praise have an unusual affliction. They often struggle with compliments as adults. Strangely enough, compliments and praise create real discomfort for them. This isn’t false modesty. They often perceive praise and compliments as disingenuous attempts to influence them. Or as superfluous noise. So, they reject efforts, sometimes harshly.…




