Inclusive leaders view vulnerability as a leadership strength and not a weakness.
They courageously share their feelings, fears, experiences, and doubts with those they lead to build authentic relationships and to grow as leaders.
They openly share their honest emotions and thoughts as a pathway to stronger relationships, personal development, and a more fulfilling work life.
Vulnerable leaders quickly learn that disclosing their true selves to others encourages them to do the same, deepening interpersonal bonds and fostering the trust so important to team success.
But, like everything else, vulnerability has its limitations.
For instance, vulnerability and the sharing of doubts and personal feelings too early in a professional relationship can cause awkwardness and embarrassment for the other party.
Workplace relationships need to develop naturally before intense personal disclosure helps to bind a relationship rather than making it uncomfortable.
As leaders explore their own comfort level with what to share and not to divulge, they should be mindful that there are some topics and experiences that should rarely be disclosed or discussed with anyone else, especially a team member.
First on the list for leaders to keep to themselves is who they disrespect or think poorly of in the organization or on the team.
Their true feelings about who can be trusted or should be viewed as unskilled or problematic should never be shared with that person’s peers.
Those views can have a lasting impact on the perceptions and reputations others carry forward, and good leaders try never to stain or negatively influence how one team member views another.
Second, good leaders should never share the acts of kindness and good deeds they do for others.
Such disclosure is self-serving and will be viewed as less about openness and more about the need for the leader to feel good about themselves. Such perceptions undermine a leader’s long-term credibility.
Third, good leaders don’t disclose what personal progress or improvements they believe they have made. This will come off as boastful and self-centered.
The better choice is to let others notice or observe what you are working on and to acknowledge any improvements you have made. Once raised, a leader can become more vulnerable on the topic, but it shouldn’t be initiated by them.
Lastly, good leaders should never discuss their financial situation with colleagues or team members. This is especially true if the leader is in a better situation than team members.
Personal wealth, compensation, and other financial information are off-limits because they create a social comparison that increases status and makes others feel less important. It doesn’t serve to deepen relationships.
Instead, it creates a larger divide between people. In almost all cases, it creates awkwardness in the relationship.
Avoiding those four topics isn’t hard. And this approach allows leaders who are smart and courageous enough to become more vulnerable across a wide-open field.
By sidestepping just a few issues, good leaders can forge stronger relationships as they press themselves to share more of themselves.
Author Brené Brown suggests, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to feelings of worthiness.”
Authenticity through sharing honest feelings is a human quality that greatly benefits leaders as long as they don’t cross the line.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
