Feedback can be carried by an infinite number of styles and expressions.
People can be direct or indirect, specific or general, or focused on the past or present when they offer feedback. The goal is the same — to influence another person’s behavior.
Sometimes, the less direct approach lessens the odds that the other party will get defensive or find the criticism insulting or inappropriate.
This is especially the case when giving feedback to someone with more status or power, such as a leader.
That’s why questions are a powerful tool for delivering feedback indirectly and without the sting of criticism.
Offering feedback by asking a question or set of questions rather than using statements, directions, or instructions is a way of presenting a challenge without being challenging.
When a leader or team member intentionally poses a question to carry feedback, it prompts reflection about a choice. The idea is that this reflection may influence future behavior.
For instance, a question like “Why did you choose that approach?” can be more than a simple inquiry. It can also convey a highly indirect and very discreet challenge about the option chosen.
The question suggests there were other options and asks the other party to describe or explore why they chose that particular path. The question naturally makes the person reflect on whether it was the best choice and why.
It really doesn’t matter how the other party responds or defends their decision in the moment. Once the question itself has landed, the feedback stares at them in the face until they answer the challenge, if only to themselves.
What makes feedback couched as a question so persuasive is how indirectly tactful it is. The questioner need only raise the issue. They don’t need to have an answer, recommendation, or point of view.
The question serves as an indirect challenge about the decision made only if the listener hears it that way. If the person receiving it internalizes the question, then they naturally reflect upon the reasons for the choice.
This is the feedback.
Perhaps there was a better choice or decision. The feedback giver doesn’t need to stake out ground to offer it.
A question asked curiously like “What were you trying to achieve by beginning the presentation with statistics?” is a challenge to the effectiveness of the choice.
A question like “How did you come to that conclusion?” indirectly challenges the reasoning of the decision.
A question such as “Did you consider other options?” suggests the other party may have missed a viable alternative.
Keep in mind that because of how indirect questions as feedback can be, those on the receiving end may not engage in the reflection necessary for change until much later, if at all. That’s why solely using questions to carry feedback will often miss the mark.
Questions as feedback should be reserved primarily for those situations where the other person might react negatively to a more direct evaluation or criticism.
When feedback givers don’t know how others will respond, offering feedback encapsulated in a question is a good place to start. What can’t be seen can sometimes exert the most influence.
