Several years ago, elementary school teacher Kyle Schwartz wrote “I wish my teacher knew _______” on the board and asked her 3rd–grade students to complete the sentence.
They responded with honesty, comedy, and vulnerability. What she learned changed her as a teacher.
She found that her students desperately wanted her to know more about them. They wrote about their favorite sports, who meant the most to them, and their hopes for the future.
But many of the students particularly wanted her to know of their hidden struggles. The revelations altered her entire approach to how she wanted to teach.
One student said he wished his teacher knew that other kids didn’t like him. Another student shared that she wished her teacher knew she was always nervous. Yet another student wanted her to know she didn’t have pencils at home to do the class assignments.
Challenges of poverty, hunger, family challenges, and loneliness offered Schwartz and her colleagues a window into the hardships children face that they weren’t aware of.
They learned that school children will share their realities with teachers if they are given the invitation. And teachers could listen to them and understand how to create a learning environment that took their challenges into account.
Adults aren’t much different.
Every team member has a unique set of challenges and hardships they must stare down and face before showing up for work.
Some have learning disabilities, while others are going through a trying time within their families. In addition to their challenges, they all have aspirations, concerns, ideas, and hopes.
If given the invitation to share with a leader who cares about them, most will gladly disclose some of their uniqueness.
Good leaders who spend the time to ask and listen to what others are facing generally gain a different perspective on how to value, validate, motivate, and push people to reach their potential.
Knowing what team members confront in their lives away from the workplace isn’t about compromising on work quality or making excuses for people. Having a more complete context simply allows leaders to adapt their style and timing to fit the person.
What do your team members wish you knew about them?
You don’t need them to conduct a complete-the-sentence exercise to learn about what they want you to know. All you have to do is ask them without prying. A multitude of questions can solicit real insights.
Start by sharing your own backstory and asking them for theirs. What you learn might change how you lead.
