Leaders are, naturally, a great resource of advice, counsel, and guidance for their team members and colleagues.
The level of trust and confidence they create through their leadership behaviors determines the types of questions and advice-seeking they receive.
Leaders held in the highest regard field questions about more private matters, including counsel about family, careers, and relationships. Exploring those topics with a leader suggests the highest level of trust.
Being asked to advise colleagues and team members on matters important to them, including those issues surrounding performance, is a compliment to the leader’s relationship skills.
To be seen as a valuable resource of wisdom is a wonderful aspiration for any leader. It certainly feels good when team members ask questions and seek advice from a leader they trust.
Leaders want to help. So they often dive right in, offering their views and gauging what advice or feedback would be best to consider.
But responding to this inquiry too quickly has a significant downside.
Immediate answers to questions don’t allow those team members to develop their own insights and wisdom. To develop fully, team members need to wrestle with the issue before they listen to the advice of others.
After fielding an inquiry or request for feedback, good leaders start the conversation with a simple but effective question that asks the other party to think through the issue on their own: What advice would you give yourself?
This temporary pause doesn’t derail the discussion, nor does it suggest the leader doesn’t want to help.
What it does is to ask the other party to be their own source of insight for just a moment. This also tells them that the leader won’t always be around, and they need to think through issues on their own to develop and grow.
Other questions like, “What does your instinct tell you?”, “What has worked in the past?”, and “What have you seen others do?” are equally powerful.
Such questions slow things down and also allow the leader to gain more context before they offer their view. Interestingly, in many cases, the advice they would give themselves is exactly what the leader would offer, further cementing their confidence and insight.
Is it possible that you respond to questions and requests for advice too quickly?
You can help others, including children and those who are highly inexperienced, by asking them to share their own insights first before you respond.
Leaders develop people. They won’t always be there to guide them. Investing in others has a bigger payoff when team members have already invested in thinking through issues for themselves.
