Here’s a surprising fact that many leaders don’t understand: If people aren’t told or shown that they are appreciated and valued, they will presume the opposite.
This is true even for top performers who receive the highest compensation and enjoy the most influence on the team. Unless a leader explicitly tells people they are appreciated, over time they will come to feel undervalued and taken for granted.
To many leaders, this doesn’t make any sense. Team members, who are highly rewarded, included, and treated specially shouldn’t require the leader to say it out loud, right? Showing is more powerful than telling, or so we have been taught. So why would self-secure, mature, and clearly effective team members need the leader to confirm their value through simple expressions of appreciation?
The answer is strikingly simple.
In a world of profound uncertainty, overt ambiguity, competitive jealousy, and constant change, people seek validation. Everyone wants to know where they stand, especially in the eyes of those they respect and who have the authority and social position to validate them.
They desperately want to know that the leader appreciates who they are, what they do, and how they contribute to the team’s success. An appreciative leader confirms exactly what team members desire most—a stamp that acknowledges how important they are.
When was the last time words such as these were uttered by you?
- “I appreciate you and all that you do.”
- “I value the insights and guidance you offer to me and the team.”
- “I truly appreciate the confidence you have in me and our work together.”
- “I am grateful for the support and wisdom you bring to the team.”
- “You are very appreciated for all you do.”
There are an infinite number of expressions that express genuine appreciation. How often do you use them?
Leaders who miss this important reality and fail to express their appreciation in words, as well as deeds, miss the mark with people. They must remember the very human need to be recognized, valued, and validated by those we look up to.
Appreciation is an echo from the lips of leaders to the walls of great teams. People who are appreciated feel more grateful for leaders, as well. Maybe that’s what Voltaire meant when he said: “Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”
By acknowledging the positive qualities in others, we usually get more of them. What a great deal.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
