There is a typical gap between what everyone on a team thinks and what gets discussed.
Those topics, issues, or ideas that are too uncomfortable or embarrassing for the team to discuss remain unaddressed and unspoken.
While these undiscussables help the team to avoid short-term conflict and awkwardness, they often hold the group back from making the progress they should.
Most undiscussables involve the so-called elephant in the room, which is a euphemism for a topic or issue that everyone prefers would go away.
The unspoken truths of bad behavior, bad decisions, or bad outcomes are usually the elephant or 1,000-pound gorilla the team avoids discussing.
Leaders brave enough to address these issues in the group discussion often set the team free of constraint and unleash a more honest conversation that produces better strategies and decisions going forward.
But that benefit doesn’t make it easy to do. The discomfort that an undiscussable would create out in the open is a powerful reason the team keeps it hidden and unaddressed.
Beyond the undiscussables connected to a specific issue, decision, or outcome lies a potential unspoken truth all teams must confront now and again.
The reality between what the team or organization says they value and what they actually do is a charade that undermines culture and destroys the commitment the team wants to feel.
In too many cases, leaders, teams, and organizations espouse vision, values, principles, or preferred practices that do not match the reality of what happens or what people do.
Exposing this hypocrisy is perhaps the most difficult undiscussable as it points the finger at everyone in the room.
Courageous leaders who frequently ask the question about what the organization says it stands for and what it actually does are putting the most important truth on the table for all to see.
The result is usually a sigh of relief and a healthy discussion where the team can recommit to doing the things it says it believes in.
The best leaders will push through the denial that some team members may hold about the consistency of actions and values. They will remind everyone that every organization experiences some level of disconnect between beliefs and behavior.
The recognition that all organizations can do better in aligning what they say they value with what they do makes the discussion more acceptable and tolerable.
Great leaders address the unspoken truths that undercut organizational effectiveness. There is no undiscussable more critical to confront on a frequent basis than the lack of congruency between words and actions.
Make it a point to add this discussion to an upcoming agenda. It’s time for any farce to end.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
