Active listening requires leaders to slow down and process what they hear before responding.To fully focus on others and to understand what is being said, leaders must listen differently than they typically do. Deep listeners attend to the major points and substance of what is being said without interruption.
They intentionally withhold sharing their personal views. If even momentarily. The importance of allowing others to finish their thoughts before responding is an essential practice of active listening.
To slow themselves down and gain a deeper understanding, many leaders have learned to ask clarifying questions before responding. By reminding themselves that they can always know more about the point or position the other person holds, asking a clarifying question or two makes a lot of sense.
The best practice of seeking more clarity through questions is a bedrock action that promotes much more vigorous listening. Unfortunately, it is a difficult practice for many leaders to master. Having to think of a clarifying question while listening interrupts a leader’s processing and sense-making of what is being said.
While it slows leaders down and prevents them from responding too quickly, formulating clarifying questions can actually intrude on listening actively. It takes genuine curiosity and a quick mind to make a fruitful habit of this practice. A lesser-known practice can complement asking questions and is much easier to make a habit of.
Examine great listeners, those who make others truly feel heard, and you will find a simple and effective behavior that is present in almost every exchange. The best listeners merely ask others to SAY MORE. In other words, they ask others to expand or expound on what they just said. This slows down the conversation but not the thinking process of the leader who wants to listen more actively.
Better yet, it can become a go-to strategy that can easily become a conversational habit for leaders who understand the power of enhanced clarity for better listening and responding. T
The requests are often stated differently but all solicit the same outcome:
• “Tell me more.”
• “Can you offer an example?”
• “Elaborate, if you would,”
• “What led you to that conclusion?”
• “I’d like to hear you expand on that.”
• “Say more.”
Whatever the preferred request, the goal is always to enhance clarity by learning more. Interestingly, asking others to elaborate further on what they have already said will often result in a more succinct restatement of their comments.
This aids leaders in confirming the critical points they need to process and respond to. Consider becoming a better listener by asking others to expand on what they have said.
By requesting that others SAY MORE, leaders can better resist the urge to reply before they fully understand. As several authors like to say, the best leaders learn to listen by listening to learn.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
