Disagreeing with your leader can result in a wide variety of reactions depending on how they lead, how secure they are as people, and how status-conscious they are.
Weak leaders have a difficult time when a team member has the “audacity” to disagree with them. Their preference to have everyone follow their lead and get in line with their thinking undermines the willingness of others to speak candidly around them.
In contrast,strong leaders welcome disagreement, encouraging those around them to be candid in their views even when their opinions run contrary to what the leader strongly believes. They promote disagreement by seeking and rewarding it, often changing their
views as others make a compelling case.
But, weak or strong, leaders don’t like to be surprised by disagreement from a team member or colleague. This is doubly true in group settings.
The most effective team members forecast when they are about to disagree with their leader before making the details of their opposition known. This is not just a courtesy. It is critical behavior of leading up.
Previewing disagreement does more than give a leader a heads-up. It buys them a moment to reflect on whether this is the best time or setting to disagree with them, or if they would prefer for you to wait.
If they decide not to constrain the disagreement, the preview allows them to mentally prepare and decide how forcefully they want to defend their position or how much they might prefer to listen and engage the counterargument.
This preview also helps to prevent them from overreacting to a disagreement they didn’t anticipate and that might catch them by surprise.
Less self-confident leaders can feel threatened when a team member disagrees with them, especially in front of others. Flagging that a disagreement is in the offing allows them to settle their mind and get more comfortable with a contrary view.
This is crucially important when disagreeing with a leader in a team or group setting. Less secure leaders are particularly face-sensitive to disagreement about their positions in the presence of others.
Instead of reticence or avoiding an oppositional statement in such settings, the better strategy is to preview that you are going to disagree and then to let the leader determine how they want to handle it. At the very least, they will view announcing the disagreement before articulating it as a supportive and relationally sensitive action.
Just like a preview of coming attractions at the theatre, forewarning that you disagree with a leader before making your case gives them the time to decide whether they want to watch the movie or skip it.
Leaders appreciate this advanced notification and think more highly of those who do it. Not a bad outcome for such a simple behavior.
