Field Notes

Team members who prioritize being liked, projecting positivity, and showing support for their colleagues will often sugar-coat their feedback and refrain from truthful criticism. 

These less-than-honest colleagues typically have a profound distaste for emotionally charged conversations and prefer to never have to explain their candid views to those who may be hurt by them. 

So, when asked for feedback, they pull their punches and highlight only the positives as a way to maintain social harmony and to avoid damaging their relationships. 

This means their colleagues never benefit from their criticisms or hear honest assessments of their performance. 

Leaders who model a more candid approach set a good example but rarely influence these team members to be more frank. Getting these team members to step up and express their honest views is no easy task. 

So, leaders often resort to various methods of collecting feedback anonymously, so feedback-reluctant team members don’t feel exposed or vulnerable. 

While anonymity can work its magic on occasion, it is a poor substitute for encouraging team members to do their part in making their colleagues better. 

The best leaders know a secret. Under the right questioning, even feedback-evasive team members will offer more candid views to their colleagues. 

It’s all about asking them questions that cannot be sidestepped and don’t appear to them as producing negative commentary. 

Whether asked during team debriefs, in conversations with the other colleague present, or in larger-format discussions, three questions stand out for their influence in promoting honest feedback, even from those hesitant to offer it. 

Good leaders select one of them to get a more candid conversation started between peers: 

• What specific action or choice could this colleague change to improve their performance? 
• What one choice or action could they handle differently next time? 
• What area of their performance offers the greatest opportunity for improvement in the future? 

These questions are difficult to duck or dismiss, although the most reluctant peers will still find a way to avoid them, usually by claiming they can’t think of an answer. 

Good leaders don’t accept this Texas two-step. They push for a more constructive answer anyway. 

The key is to start the ball rolling and then to let the team member offer what they are willing to, while the leader continues to push for more suggestions and recommendations. 

Good team leaders insist that peers be honest, candid, and constructive with each other. 

Asking the right questions can take the pressure off those who are reluctant to offer a more candid assessment.