People are shaped by a unique blend of biology, experiences, and environment. Some things about them are highly malleable, while other features are more permanent.
In other words, some personal attributes can be changed while other qualities can’t. Understanding this distinction is crucial for leadership success.
A leader’s role is to change how people act, engage, and respond to make them more effective while at the same time accepting that many of their flaws and failings can’t be influenced or modified. Qualities steeped in personality and biology are highly resistant to change, and good leaders know what to focus on and what to ignore or accept.
For instance, a team member who is naturally introverted may learn to become more comfortable in social situations over time with the right guidance, but their core preference for independence remains.
Personality traits, like introversion, are relatively stable throughout adulthood. While people do grow and evolve as they mature, these changes occur at the margins rather than in dramatic leaps.
Leaders who attempt to “fix” qualities rooted in biology and personality are doomed to fail and make the target of their repairs feel scrutinized and disfavored.
The better path is to avoid fixing people and attempt to change behavior instead. While some may contend that behavior emanates from personality, the actions, habits, and routines that make people more effective do not.
For example, anyone can learn how to give a more compelling and persuasive presentation by incorporating best practices regardless of their personality traits and biological tendencies. Showing others a more effective strategy or tactic is fundamentally different than trying to fix their personality flaws and gremlins.
Too many well-intentioned leaders spend way too much of their time trying to fix people instead of attempting to change their behavior. This is not to say that all personality characteristics must be overlooked or accepted. Some of the qualities people bring to the table may eliminate them from ever being highly effective.
Team members with high anxiety, emotional instability, low self-discipline, and the need to dominate, among other traits, likely render themselves incapable of performing on a team.
Such uncorrectable weaknesses must be discovered during the selection process and not addressed by leaders in the business of performance. Leaders can’t fix people and nor should they try.
Leadership is not about repairing issues rooted deeply in a person’s DNA. It’s about coaching and guiding people to incorporate new behaviors and best practices that will make them better at what they do.
Are you a fixer?
Do you have a strong need or desire to repair the dysfunctional personality traits of your team members? You’re likely doing damage to your relationship when you do.
And with nothing to gain. It’s time to change your approach. Stop trying to fix people. Coach them up instead.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
