People like it when leaders listen to them.
But they like it even more when leaders “hear” them. The difference is in how leaders respond when they listen.
One option open to leaders on nearly every occasion is to summarize what they think they heard.
This behavior has an amazing effect on how leaders are judged. Acknowledging that an important message has been received loud and clear builds trust and credibility.
Not every comment or piece of feedback merits a leader’s special acknowledgment. But there are critical moments when going out of their way to show they’ve truly heard what others have said is essential.
Consider what happens when organizational survey results are released. Leaders and teams receive ratings, evaluations, and anonymous feedback.
Patterns often emerge that send a direct message to the leader.
When a leader lets the team know publicly that they have heard the feedback and will reflect upon it, that builds trust and confidence. The acknowledgement establishes that the leader listens, is open-minded, and receptive to criticism.
Leaders accrue the same benefit when team members take personal risk to speak up.
By thanking them and saying, “Here is what I just heard you say,” leaders reward honesty and courage and project themselves to be malleable in their thinking.
The same is true when emotions are running high, and team members are charged up about an issue.
Leaders who reflect what people are experiencing defuse conflict and encourage steadier emotions. Sometimes being heard is all that people need to feel satisfied.
Leaders who frequently summarize what they hear from others demonstrate strong listening skills, ensure greater accuracy, and show respect for the views of others. The behavior says loudly that people deserve to be heard and understood.
Not surprisingly, many of the best leaders rely on the same expressions to summarize:
- “What I’m hearing is…”
- “I appreciate learning that…”
- “So, if I understand correctly…”
- “Here’s what I’m taking away from this…”
- “Let me make sure I’ve got this right…”
The leader’s effort to close the loop between what they think they heard and the validation by others is rewarded by more openness and candidness in return.
When they feel truly heard, people are more likely to express their honest views.
How often do you tell people that you have “heard” them? Do you frequently reflect back what has been said? How do you let others know you have taken their feedback seriously?
The best leaders not only listen, but they also distill what they have heard.
Listening earns trust. Summarizing proves it.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
