Team members want a lot from their leader. They want to be heard, liked, valued, appreciated, and involved.
But above all else, the strongest desire is to be respected.
Respect is a fundamental human quality essential for trust and connection. When displayed by a leader, respect raises self-esteem, amplifies personal value, enhances social belonging, underlines contribution, and builds a deeper relationship.
Team members hunger to be respected by everyone around them, but especially by their leader.
Good leaders go out of their way to show people they hold them in high regard. They display this respect by asking others for their advice, guidance, and direction. They take time to observe others in action. They collaborate with them on challenging assignments and tasks.
Savvy leaders who are acutely aware of the critical nature of respect do something less common but powerfully important to show their respect. They insist that others go first. By asking others to go first, leaders display an honor that everyone covets.
For instance, consider the request of asking others to offer their views and to speak first before the leader does. Listening to a team member before offering their own view is a unique sign of respect by a leader. It honors them by holding their viewpoint or opinion as significant, relevant, and as notable as the leader’s view might be.
Asking others to present first, select first, propose first, get in line first, exit first, compete first, decide first, eat first, advocate first, sit first, choose first, offer the first toast, play first, give feedback first, pick first, make a request first, and recommend first are ways that a leader can show respect by acknowledging the inherent value of a team member or colleague.
Asking others to go first suggests the leader believes they deserve the right to lead the way and set the tone others will likely follow. Leaders who ask a colleague to go first demonstrate a presumption that the team member will create value when they act.
Letting others go first is a powerful way to demonstrate how much you appreciate and admire who they are. It is an act of kindness, consideration, and projected confidence. Only a selfless and self-confident leader would be comfortable making this a habit.
Leaders who want to be heard listen to others (in many ways) first. Leaders give respect to receive it. The best leaders give it first.
