We attend way too many meetings and engage in too few conversations.
While the best meetings have some conversation-like qualities, the idea that status, agenda, and information drive meetings makes them very different from conversations. In meetings, people often compete to stand out, get heard, and advocate for their ideas, resulting in unfocused discussions replete with interruptions and digressions. It’s no wonder then that people don’t look forward to meetings and no one asks for more of them. Heaven forbid.
In contrast, conversations flow more naturally and leave everyone feeling heard and appreciated. Conversations are driven by questions and answers, not time-constrained topics on an agenda.
Because conversations are focused on exploring an issue, people show more genuine interest in what others think and remain open-minded. The mutual exchange of ideas, beliefs, and feelings places the emphasis on understanding and not on advocacy. People get a lot more done enjoyably through conversation.
So why don’t more leaders invite people to conversations rather than schedule meetings? The answer hinges on the size of a group. Conversations can only happen with a handful of people. More than 6 team members can’t have a conversation. That’s why meetings trump conversations in most organizations.
Yet, the presumption that every issue, topic, and problem requires a herd of people isn’t always sound. In too many cases, leaders invite just about everyone to a meeting in an attempt to include, involve, and engage more people. The quality of the exchange suffers as a result.
Meetings certainly have their place. When designed correctly, they offer an efficient transfer of information and an effective forum for decision-making. But, more often than not, leaders would find more value in exploring an issue by limiting the number of team members and having a conversation instead.
Rather than calling for the next meeting and cramming everyone in a room or on a virtual call, consider the choice between a large group discussion and a small group conversation. Scheduling a conversation and experiencing the free flow of ideas in a relational context is sometimes a great call.
More conversations and fewer meetings can make a big difference in how leaders and team members relate to each other. The electrical currents in good conversations meld people together. Meetings don’t have that juice.
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