Waking up to the fact that you have been taken advantage of is never a comfortable feeling.
The signs are normally there. But for some reason, you missed them.
A colleague or friend who never reciprocates. Scant communication or follow-up after you’ve helped someone out. A leader or friend who sets unrealistic expectations and demands that you meet them. Seeing your idea stolen by a colleague or, worse yet, your leader. People who are only nice when they need something. You keep your promises, but they always have a reason not to keep theirs.
Once you realize you have been taken advantage of, the imperative question is what to do about it.
You could ignore it and chalk it up to the selfishness of people. Or you could decide exactly what is non-negotiable for you in relationships and assert your rights. The key is to know where the boundaries are and the lines that can’t be crossed.
Once you know your borderlines, it is essential that others know them as well.
In some cases, it would be wise to end the relationship and find others who have a genuine interest in a mutually beneficial relationship. That is particularly difficult to do in the workplace, although you could create more separation or distance in the relationship.
If you decide to confront the issue head-on, then you should try your best to have a productive conversation where you express honestly how their actions are affecting you.
Describe the relationship you want to have as opposed to complaining about what has already transpired. Ask them to think along with you about ways to address the disparity you are feeling. Make it a brainstorming session rather than a reproach.
In the instance of someone taking credit for your ideas or results, document your accomplishments and proposals in emails and share them widely, including with the guilty party. This makes it exceedingly difficult for them to lay claim to your work without embarrassing themselves.
Great relationships are grounded in reciprocity. When others take advantage of your goodwill and nature, the best course of action is to let them know how you feel. Otherwise, the behavior will likely continue and result in a flare-up of emotions.
Everyone has boundaries. Letting others know yours is the smart call.
Being kind doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat. Setting limits and valuing your own time is critical to your well-being.
Good people take advantage of opportunities, not other people. That’s how you know they’re good people.
