Some people make themselves hard to work with.
They don’t realize how painful it is for others to collaborate and engage with them on tasks and assignments.
One reason is because of their need to complain before taking action.
Insisting on complaining about a problem (and the people who created it) before attempting to solve it is a mindset that fixates on what is wrong rather than how to address it.
By detailing the negatives surrounding the problem, these colleagues elevate their own self-worth and demonstrate to others how important they are in the process. The gloomier the prognosis, the more impressive their resolution will appear.
When complaining before acting becomes a pattern, colleagues find it unsettling and counterproductive. If given the option, they would prefer to work with someone else. They would rather not stomach the negativity and grousing that wastes time and drains others emotionally.
Complainers are exhausting.
Think about it this way. If you had a leak in your house and needed a plumber, which of the following two service providers would you prefer to work with and recommend to neighbors?
The first plumber arrives at your house and, while examining the leak, notes that the pipes haven’t been maintained.
They then go on about how lucky you are that there isn’t more of a mess and how homeowners like you foolishly try to save money by calling for service at the last possible moment.
Before they get to work, they tell you that the position of the pipes will make them even harder to repair. The plumber even laments the cost to their spine because of the odd angles.
The second plumber arrives, examines the pipes, tells you what they plan to do, and then gets busy fixing the problem. On the way out, they recommend a maintenance schedule to keep everything in top shape.
It’s a rhetorical question, of course. The funny thing is how complaining colleagues don’t see the impact of their negativity.
Because they engage like the first plumber before addressing any problem or challenging task, they turn people off. Those with a choice take their business and assignments elsewhere.
Convincing a complainer that they create an unproductive climate with their incessant whining isn’t easy. They have trained themselves to operate from this mindset, so it is difficult for them to grasp or make a change.
Yet, it is worth a try.
Offer them the analogy of the two plumbers. They, too, will select the second plumber. When they ask why you posited the descriptions, ask them to reflect on whether others see them as plumber number one.
Thus begins the march toward greater self-awareness.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
