The way people perceive, value, and treat themselves creates a template for how they interact with others.
As a rule, our external relationships reflect our internal state. Whereas a positive self-regard produces positive and caring relationships, people who don’t believe they are deserving reinforce that belief in the way they engage others, often tolerating disrespect, mistreatment, and rejection.
The quality and authenticity of how we relate to others reflect how well we understand, respect, and treat ourselves. Self-trust, self-respect, and self-awareness form the core foundation for all genuine relationships.
When a person has a healthy and honest relationship with themselves, highlighted by positive self-talk and a clarity of values, they are better able to build trusting and respectful relationships with others.
The internal conversation or self-talk people have with themselves is a mirror of what they feel and think. This inner dialogue has a profound impact on how they interact with others.
For instance, positive self-talk builds confidence, emotional well-being, and openness, fostering healthy and productive relationships with others.
On the other hand, negative self-talk, such as self-criticism, doubt, admonishment, and distorted thinking (like “always” and “never”), harms relationships by creating barriers, weakening conviction, and fueling misunderstandings.
Self-talk like “I don’t do anything right” makes it extremely difficult to act confidently or to engage openly with others. Believing and saying internally that my partner “never helps out” solidifies resentment and creates distance in the relationship.
The most important relationship anyone has is first with themselves. Making this relationship positive and full of self-respect creates the foundation for developing fruitful and productive relationships with others.
Changing the inner dialogue to be more balanced, positive, and respectful is the first step toward creating better relationships. To consistently radiate positivity, one must be positive on the inside.
Have you ever wondered why some people are so negative and critical in how they view and interact with others? Odds are that their negativity starts with how they view and interact with themselves. Unhappiness on the inside produces unhappiness on the outside.
That’s why our relationship with others depends enormously on our relationship with ourselves.
Examine your self-talk and the feelings you have about yourself. Perhaps it’s time for a tune-up.
