Team members have a deep affection for leaders who make the charitable assumption about our less-than-desirable actions.
When they are late, miss the deadline, show up unprepared, share confidential information, or one of the many other mistakes that are bound to happen on occasion, team members naturally prefer leaders who give them the benefit of the doubt.
Rather than presuming they did things on purpose or have acted in a subversive or negligent manner, leaders who make what the restauranteur Danny Meyer calls the charitable assumption simply ask others what happened.
The charitable assumption is a pause and an opening. It presumes there might be a good reason for the misstep or breach. Asking the question as to why, rather than unloading on people, is what good leaders do. They give people a chance to explain or offer a reasonable account.
Rather than expressing disappointment about an infraction or negative action, the better first expression is one of curiosity and concern. “This is not like you. Is everything okay?” is a common version of making the charitable assumption. This tells others that the leader cares more about the person than about the violation.
Leaders are often surprised by what they learn when asking others to explain their behavior in a considerate way. Family, medical, and other issues often clarify why people do what they do. Nothing feels worse to a leader than when they come down hard on a team member and later learn the colleague was experiencing a major personal crisis.
Charitable acts reflect caring values.
Assuming the best in people leaves them with a good feeling — even if a reprimand is in order. Listening to an explanation only takes a few extra moments. Why not make it a habit to make the charitable assumption about people and their mistakes.
You’ll feel better about yourself and your leadership when you do.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
