As strange as it might sound, some team members are exceedingly lonely, even while collaborating daily with colleagues.
Despite a workplace with more opportunities for connectivity than ever, loneliness and social isolation are on the rise inside organizations of every stripe.
Lonely team members represent quite a challenge for leaders. They experience lower job satisfaction, reduced engagement, higher burnout, lower productivity, decreased commitment, higher absenteeism, and more turnover.
Worldwide research reveals that about 20 percent of all team members feel lonely on a regular basis, with younger workers and fully remote associates reporting the highest levels.
Leaders who want to provide the support lonely team members need must first identify them, which is no simple task. That’s because lonely team members do the opposite of what leaders expect of someone who is lonely.
Instead of striving to find and create more social connections and relationships, lonely team members disengage, skip meetings whenever they can, and avoid interaction with others. Lonely and isolated team members do their best to detach themselves from everything and everyone.
Knowing the signs of extreme loneliness is essential for leaders. Lonely team members often cope with their feelings by working excessively, eating alone, avoiding social interaction, displaying careless behaviors, sidestepping small talk, and showing less care for their workspace and grooming.
When they do engage others, they stay focused on work issues, avoiding any discussion of their personal lives or passions. In cases of extreme loneliness, the loss of motivation leads them to miss deadlines, deliver incomplete assignments, and show up consistently late to meetings.
And here’s the kicker: They almost never tell others, especially leaders, that they are lonely. Leaders must rely on the symptoms of loneliness to correctly identify who on the team is suffering.
When leaders recognize that a team member is experiencing extreme loneliness, they can play a significant role in helping the person cope with their isolation.
The most important action is for the leader to check in frequently and to inquire about how the team member is doing inside and outside of the workplace. Showing interest, concern, and empathy can provide much-needed comfort to someone who is lonely.
Organizing social activities (like group lunches and virtual coffee meetings) can help the team member form connections and build stronger relationships. The aim is to make the team member feel integrated rather than isolated, so any team projects where they must collaborate with others are a boon.
The best leaders go one step further in supporting a lonely team member. They unofficially serve as a mentor to this colleague, arranging to meet on a regular basis to discuss their careers, aspirations, and interests.
Anything that gives the lonely team member a sense of belonging and acceptance can help to lessen feelings of isolation.
It’s not always easy to spot a desperately lonely team member. But when they know someone on the team is experiencing isolation and loneliness, good leaders spring into action and do their best to draw them into the team and its social activities.
The workplace can be an important place for lonely people — unless they are surrounded by colleagues who make them feel even more alone.
Good leaders don’t allow the poverty of loneliness to take hold within a team. They create connections between team members that promote belonging for everyone.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
