One of the most difficult things for many leaders to learn is how to ask for help when they need it. Because leaders often see themselves as the team’s primary source of strength, confidence, and commitment, they insist on going it alone even when it is obvious they need some help. Too often, asking for help is viewed as a weakness or a surrender rather than a strength. This prevents leaders from being as productive as they should be and inhibits their growth as people.
Leaders who power through tasks and issues that are too complex or difficult for one person waste time and energy. Hard things usually require multiple people, resources, and ideas.
A leader who admits they don’t know how to do something or can’t get something done without some assistance doesn’t display weakness. They display the strategic smarts to know how to be effective.
Reversing the situation makes this point clear. If a team member needed your help to complete a project or think through an issue, would you help them? Of course you would. Upon recognizing the difficulty of the problem, would you see them as incompetent or inept? No, you wouldn’t. Would you think they were imposing on you, making themselves a burden? You would see that as ridiculous.
Then why on earth would you resist asking for help when you need it?
No one achieves long-term success without the help of a small army of people who listen, share advice, lend a hand, push and challenge, and advocate for them. Ask anyone who has achieved extraordinary outcomes, and they will tell you they received a lot of help along the way.
Asking for help is a muscle that can be strengthened. Every time you ask for help, it becomes easier to do it in the future. Knowing that good people like to help others and appreciate being asked to share their expertise is a lesson that even makes it rewarding.
The time to begin practicing this important habit is not when your head is in your hands and you don’t know what to do. Instead, start with a small request when assistance would add some extra lift. For instance, ask a team member to brainstorm a few ideas with you or to offer feedback on a presentation outline you have composed.
Get in the habit of asking for help when it isn’t critical and you’ll have an easier time finding the courage to request a hand when you need it most. Before lifting others up, a good leader must learn not to let themselves down by going it alone.
Learn to ask for help.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
