Self-deprecation does more than display humility.
Leaders who take jabs at themselves create more trust and connection with others.
This is because self-deprecation disarms people and makes leaders more relatable and personable. People tend to trust leaders they find more likable.
Good leaders are comfortable making fun of themselves on occasion, making everyone around them more comfortable as a result. Self-deprecating comments show others that a leader can take the work seriously without having to take themselves so seriously.
A well-timed self-deprecating comment can shift the mood and make leaders more approachable. Leaders who haven’t figured this out yet are missing out.
By humorously acknowledging their own flaws, shortcomings, or mistakes, leaders show themselves to be human, which makes them more trustworthy.
The best comments are simple statements that display a humorous self-awareness: “Looks like I need more coffee this morning,” “I guess we just learned that I am pigheaded,” “I’m the person who can never find their keys,” “Doctor notes are more legible than my writing,” “Obviously, predicting the future isn’t my strong suit today.”
Leaders should never attempt self-deprecation that goes too far by disclosing serious doubt or incompetence. “I always mess things up,” or “Don’t trust my opinion because I never get anything right,” is not only self-deprecating but also validates insecurities and undermines credibility.
Good leaders keep their comments light with just the right amount of self-directed humor.
Of course, it’s critical that self-deprecation originate from a place of genuine confidence and self-worth, rather than from self-doubt.
When a leader confidently laughs or makes fun of their own minor flaws or mistakes, it displays humility, self-awareness, and authenticity. All qualities that make them more trustworthy.
But when a leader discloses doubt, overuses self-deprecation, or does so disingenuously, it creates awkwardness and undermines the confidence others have in them.
When, on occasion, a leader reveals their minor flaws and imperfections, they come across as more human, authentic, and vulnerable.
This perception is amplified for leaders of higher status. When others hold a leader in high regard or they have a significant title, position, or authority, self-deprecating remarks show them to be imperfect and serve to make people around them more secure.
When offered appropriately, self-deprecation reduces the negative influence of status by creating a more relaxed and inclusive atmosphere. The comfort it creates also encourages team members to speak up and offer more of their candid thinking.
With so many advantages, leaders would be wise to master the art of self-deprecation. Keep it light, short, and about a minor flaw. Don’t be bashful to poke fun at yourself on occasion.
Remember this: If you take yourself too seriously all of the time, others won’t.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
