Field Notes

Leaders naturally want to contribute their views and ideas in conversations and meetings. Their desire to show up as smart, well-informed, and insightful compels them to express their candid views whenever they get the chance.

The more passionate they are about a subject or topic, the more they want to add value to the discussion, articulating a viewpoint they believe others will benefit from.  

But in their enthusiasm to influence others with their insights, leaders can sometimes go too far. They can add too much value and throw a wrench into the discussion that isn’t always obvious to them.

By being quick to offer too many ideas, suggestions, and options, they undermine the contributions of others, discourage those with less experience from sharing their ideas, and make decision-making much more complex than it needs to be.  

The idea of adding too much value explains why some passionate and knowledgeable leaders consistently dominate meetings and conversations without meaning to. Those who try to contribute too much are often oblivious to the effect they have on others.

Because they are just following their passion and insight, they typically can’t see what others do—a person who talks first, says too much, gets too involved, can’t restrain themselves from interjecting, and offers too many ideas for others to absorb and process.  

While anyone can add too much value in a given situation, it is a pattern with some leaders. They over-contribute in nearly all situations. Critical feedback can temper their enthusiasm for a limited time, but their need to assert what they believe soon overrides their constraint. For anyone with this tendency, it is exceedingly hard to turn it off.  

Coaching these leaders and team members to allow others to speak first can help them understand the negative impact they normally have on discussions. By letting others go first, they often hear viewpoints that have been absent in the past. Learning to contribute by asking questions rather than making assertions can also assist in dampening this proclivity.  

The urge to contribute their ideas and suggestions in every discussion, even when it’s unnecessary, usually springs from a combination of self-confidence and the need to control outcomes. When leaders conclude that their primary role is not just to make decisions and discussions better but to let others shine and grow, they are more likely to fight this habit. Leadership is always more about others.

Convincing those with this affliction that a leader’s job is to highlight everyone else’s ideas so they can grow and develop can start a personal transformation. And not a discussion too soon.