How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
The answer is 100. One to change the light bulb and 99 others to describe how they could have done it better.
If you found that joke even remotely funny, it’s likely you recognize the small truth in it. Too many consultants think they have the “right” answer and are quick to debate that fact with anyone. If you don’t agree to the hidden truth in that statement, then you won’t view it as the least bit funny.
There is a nugget of truth inside every joke or attempt at humor, at least in the mind of the teller. Humor allows people to say what they really believe without having to own it.
Humor is a back door, an escape hatch, a source of plausible deniability, a way to insult without being caught red-handed, an avenue to tell others how we really feel without admitting it.
In that sense, humor serves an important social function. It gives people a release valve to disclose what they really think without being judged harshly. Everyone uses humor on occasion to carry a truth they prefer not to offer directly.
In the workplace, confident leaders with something critical to say often joke, tease, and poke fun to make a point indirectly. They use humor to weakly disguise a truth or criticism to deflect the possible interpretation they are being mean or insensitive. They can always tell others they “were only kidding” to escape their obvious guilt.
Once in the habit of using humor to cover their tracks, some leaders become way too dependent on this device to convey their criticisms and distaste.
Leaders who tease and joke with others incessantly, as a way to share their views, wear people down and come across as much more negative and insensitive than they believe.
While there is nothing wrong with an occasional tease or attempt at humor to carry a critical message, leaders who overuse this style often make others paranoid as they wait for the next “zinger.” When humor puts people on edge, instead of reducing tension, it is now a problem.
Leaders who overuse humor to convey their dislikes often don’t recognize the negative atmosphere they create. A common pattern of teasing and humor produces a defensive and evaluative climate where those on the receiving end protect themselves by clamming up or fighting back.
In the worst cases, team members model the behavior and take the same license to use jokes and humor when they don’t like something. When nearly all criticisms go underground, people feel assaulted. They either join in or stay out of target range.
Good leaders use humor to reduce stress, offer relief from tension, and to help others release negative energy. While they occasionally tease or cajole others to make a point, they are careful not to make it a part of their leadership style.
As any comedian will tell you, a joke is a deadly serious thing.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
