One way to test your listening skills is to assess how often you elaborate on what others are saying.
When listeners elaborate, they expand, add to, or otherwise broaden or develop the conversational points being offered. Ignoring the comment, responding off-topic, or shifting to another subject indicates more than disinterest. As a pattern, it reflects poor listening.
For instance, if a colleague says they enjoyed their spicy chicken sandwich at lunch, what would you say in response? Would you move to another topic or build on what they have said?
Elaborating on what the other party has said requires taking up the content and expanding upon it. Asking questions about the sandwich, adding commentary about whether you like spicy foods, describing what you had for lunch, or inquiring about why they enjoyed it are all forms of elaboration. Suggesting it is going to rain this evening is not.
Elaboration requires focus, interest, and engagement. Most of all, it requires listening attentively to what the other person is saying and why it matters to them.
Lazy listeners expand conversations by simply agreeing or suggesting what they like about the subject. Whereas, active listeners truly elaborate on what they have heard by adding their spin or view to the topic.
While no one elaborates on everything they hear, the question to consider is how often you do.
It is often the case that leaders believe themselves to be excellent listeners only to learn that others don’t feel the same. It may be that elaboration or the lack of it is the missing ingredient to this competing view.
Good listeners process. Great listeners elaborate.
