It’s somewhat surprising to many leaders how often team members who receive actionable feedback and recommendations for improvement respond with, “I already do that!”
This answer sometimes reflects a passive resistance to the advice; however, more often than not, the team member truly believes they are already performing the suggested action. They often lack an awareness that what they think they are doing is not what others believe and see. If left unaddressed, this disconnect means little action or improvement will likely be made.
Some leaders make a strong argument that the reality on the ground is not what the team member thinks it is. They attempt to prove that the team member’s past actions do reflect the advice and feedback being offered. This desperate need to confront the team member and show them their error normally results in a debate the leader does not win, at least not if winning means getting the team member to act on the feedback.
A better strategy to prove the point is simply to ask for examples. Ask how the team member has already incorporated the suggested actions. Pushing for recent and specific examples is the key. Team members who might have a case will quickly offer examples that prove their point. But most will swing and whiff at this request.
The lack of examples typically exposes the glaring omission. Rather than say, “I told you so,” good leaders use this as a teaching opportunity. They collaborate with the team member and explore how they might more specifically incorporate the feedback and recommendations into their actions and work. In essence, they set the stage for an example to be created.
Examples are one of the best ways to illustrate that people understand a concept or engage in an action. The lack of a concrete example suggests something is amiss between reality and perception. By asking for examples rather than debating the facts, good leaders bring team members along with a more specific understanding of why the feedback was given and how they can incorporate it.
Examples reflect the power of understanding. Asking people to provide them is a lens into their true actions and beliefs. Can you give me an example of that?
