Once a leader commits to a new path, routine, or behavior, they must also find the discipline to maintain that commitment through repetitive action. It is repetition that builds the muscle and intellectual memory that turns good intentions into long-lasting habits.
But keeping up the new behavior through repetition is much harder than it looks. Denying the power of old norms, fully embracing the potential of a new pattern, and fighting through the many reasons not to abandon the effort requires significant willpower.
Some people have more willpower than others, which is another way of saying that some people have the self-discipline to push through the roadblocks impeding change and others have less of it. Holding oneself accountable to a desired change and finding whatever reserves of willpower a person can muster is what building a new habit is all about.
The question is how to find more willpower. One answer that has stood the test of time is to enlist the help of an accountability partner.
A partner or buddy in the crime of self-discipline knows of your commitment and dedicates themselves to holding you accountable to it. They ask and receive permission to push you, prod you, and bother you as a means of helping you achieve your goals. They check in, show up, measure progress, and remind you of what you have committed to. They often engage with you, side-by-side, working to create the same habit you are.
Just at the point of surrender or a decrease in effort, an accountability partner gives you the much-needed push to find the willpower to keep going. They provide an invaluable boost and make the task of building a new habit much easier and enjoyable. In the best cases, you do the same for them regarding a new habit they hope to master.
The success of creating a new habit sometimes depends on just such a partner. With habits difficult to acquire, an accountability partner can make all the difference. That’s why selecting the right or best partner is essential.
Depending on the behavior, it may be best to turn to a spouse, coach, colleague, or friend to play this role. The most important criterion is to select someone you trust that will live up to the mutual pledge to hold you accountable. They won’t accept excuses or allow you to surrender without putting up a fight.
The best buddies set specific tasks and goals for each other and offer support and motivation, especially when the commitment to the behavior or routine begins to wane. Whenever they can, the buddies show up and watch or observe each other for moral support. They offer candid feedback but make sure to do so in a reassuring way. That’s why we call them buddies.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
