Leaders, like everyone else, gravitate more toward some people than others.
They naturally find affinity, connection, and value with a small portion of those they meet and work with.
The kinds, types, and profiles of people they find a connection with normally share similar qualities, although those attributes can vary widely between leaders.
Leaders find people who fall outside those preferences harder to talk with, create connections with, and establish long-term relationships with.
Taken together, those who fit inside the comfort zone and those who don’t reflect a leader’s relationship range.
Leaders with a narrow relationship range find comfort or ease of connection with a smaller number of people. They consciously choose not to connect with many people because of the standards they apply to the choice.
While their own sense of self can greatly influence how comfortable they are in deepening any relationship, their preferences play a critical role in whom they form connections with.
Leaders with a greater relationship range don’t lack standards or preferences for engagement, but they have a larger list of qualities that attract them to others and that they can build upon to forge deeper connections.
Expanding or increasing relationship range is essential for leaders and team members who want to experience more learning, more opportunities, and more support.
This is not to say that a broad range is always better. But by expanding range, leaders increase the chances that they will find connections that will benefit them and their team and family.
Similarity and comfort play an oversized role in a leader’s relationship range. Leaders naturally depend on qualities or attributes of identity to establish who they wish to connect with.
Similar backgrounds, work history, family structure, hobbies, social memberships, experiences, and interests serve to create more comfort and connection. Even style and appearance are often used covertly to make the choice to invest in a relationship or not.
Expanding the range of people — and thereby relationships — that a leader can connect with deeply isn’t easy.
A leader’s relationship range is typically consistent and highly stable for a reason. They like who they like.
It’s not realistic to expect most leaders to simply commit to appreciating more qualities in others or rise above the many biases and preferences that determine who they enjoy.
But there is a way to get this done.
Successfully expanding a leader’s relationship range is about shifting the focus from identity to purpose.
To best expand your relationship range, consider anchoring your connection to shared purpose rather than personal similarity.
When leaders focus on the purpose they share with others, the number of possible connections increases dramatically, and so does the desire to connect.
By identifying new and existing relationships and evaluating the potential connection based on shared purpose, leaders find many more relationships worth pursuing and engaging.
The best advice is to focus exclusively on that shared purpose in initial conversations, introductions, and interactions.
Exploring shared purpose when natural comfort and affinity are missing can open doors and pathways for deeper connections. Leaders must connect with more people to expand their opportunity set.
The anchor of shared purpose is the secret weapon.
