Some team members are hard-headed. Even after receiving the same feedback on multiple occasions, they still resist making any change. They dig in, preferring their own path, even when it continues to disappoint the team leader and produce less than stellar results. When team members remain highly resistant to feedback, the best leaders reframe the request to change one of the needs.
No one succeeds without the help of others. That is one reason we organize to begin with. We leverage the talents and skills of others to fill in our own gaps. We need things from others to do our work.
By reframing what we ask of others in terms of the needs we are presenting, we change the feedback conversation. By focusing on what we need, we make the request more personal and more imperative. This is often best accomplished by presenting the request as an exchange of needs.
In a Needs Exchange, the leader always begins by first asking the team member what they need from the leader to be more effective and productive. Keeping this list to two or three keys items allows the leader to agree to concede to at least one item to display their commitment to the relationship. Once they have heard the needs of the team member, they can turn the tables and make the same request. Asking for one primary need to be fulfilled increases the odds that the team member will comply.
Reciprocity is a powerful motivator, and the best leaders use it to their advantage when giving feedback, especially to those who might get defensive. People naturally reciprocate when they ask for their needs to be fulfilled. Reframing criticism into needs can have profound effects on reducing the resistance of those allergic to your feedback.
Exactly what do you need to try this?
