Asking colleagues and teammates to join you instead of listening to you is a pathway to deeper learning and connection.
Any request to explore and engage in a topic, issue, or task with a leader is viewed as an invitation to connect. The best leaders become “spend-time-with-me” leaders to foster a deep and more collaborative relationship where both parties frequently get the chance to engage each other without interruption or distraction.
Busy leaders are often lax in using time together as an opportunity to forge better connections with those they lead. They move from conversation to conversation, and meeting to meeting, never fully engaged or focused on any one team member. While this is an efficient way of getting lots done, learning and true connection take a back seat.
The requests a spend-time-with-me leader makes of others offer quality time not just substance:
- “Join me and let’s work on that project together.”
- “Come with me and take a walk so we can talk things through.”
- “Let’s travel to the meeting together so we can spend some time discussing that issue.”
- “Join me for breakfast tomorrow so we can hash out the problem.”
- “Invite me to the next off-site so we can spend time discussing how we can better invest in your team.”
It’s no wonder we call time spent creating meaningful, focused, and active experiences with others “quality time.” Quality time is characterized by undivided attention, genuine engagement and shared experience.
Leaders who value such time with their families often overlook the power of quality time with team members, preferring instead to engage others in meetings and task-oriented conversations that lack true connection. This is a lost opportunity to nurture stronger and more meaningful bonds.
Everyone knows that time is the most precious commodity a leader has. Time spent exclusively with a colleague or team member to explore, learn, or collaborate is a sign of what the leader values. It says loudly and clearly that the team member is important to the leader and worth their exclusive attention.
Team members understand that quality time with a leader never just happens. They have to intentionally ask others to spend time with them. That’s why the best leaders choose to be “spend-time-with-me” mentors.
Above all else, team members need a candid exchange of information and feedback and outside counsel to create high performance. Team members who like each other a lot need to commit to open and direct communication in all directions. In the end, it makes for an even stronger team.
A Daily Dispatch from the Front Lines of Leadership.
