Celebrating yourself as you hold up others and recognize their accomplishments is more common than leaders think.
The statement, “I knew this would happen when you finally took my advice,” is a prime and common example.
Leaders who must pat themselves on the back when they celebrate others expose their insecurities and self-centeredness.
Congratulating yourself while congratulating others may be unintentional, but it is never lost on others.
It suggests a leader who needs to be center-stage and can’t be completely happy for the success of others.
Leaders who perceive themselves to be under-recognized and unappreciated are likely culprits. Good leaders make it a point to focus any celebration on others and not on themselves.
Yet, it is easy to fall into the trap of congratulating yourself at the same time.
Have you ever caught yourself saying any of these statements?
- “I always knew you were capable of great things.”
- “Your success is making me look good.”
- “When you follow the right strategy, good things happen.”
- “All I had to do was set you free to do great work.”
- “I surrounded you with talent and look what you did with it.”
- “Your success is the highest compliment that I can receive.”
- “Your success is proof of what I have been saying for a long time.”
- “Looks like my coaching has finally paid off.”
- “You’ve fulfilled the potential I always saw in you.”
- “I knew you would be successful the first time I spoke with you.”
While these expressions sound supportive, they serve to highlight the leader’s foresight, guidance, and contribution rather than keeping the focus on the person being celebrated.
Leaders who celebrate others and their accomplishments have a choice to make. They can make the celebration exclusively about the team member or include themselves in the recognition.
Leaders who preface congratulations with their own self-congratulatory statements rob others of the full sunshine they deserve.
More importantly, they make themselves look small and insecure.
