Strong leaders are confident people who have equally staunch convictions about issues that matter.
The best leaders are highly aware of the markers or cues of confidence that they use to project self-assurance. Cues such as emotionally intense words and phrases, highly vivid descriptions, direct eye contact, and strong qualifiers help to create a composite picture of strength, conviction, and confidence.
Too many cues deployed too quickly can transform a confident leader into one viewed as arrogant or condescending. The line between projecting confidence and coming across as too intense or self-important is not always perfectly clear.
Learning to recognize the cues they use to project confidence, which are often unintentional or unconscious, is an important step as leaders strive to create the most credible style. One marker or cue worthy of examination is the device of asking and answering one’s own questions.
Leaders who rely on this cue to project confidence rarely recognize that they do it. They typically deploy this device when they are highly charged or excited about an issue and want to influence others without taking the time to listen and explore. Or they use the cue when they are so highly convicted that they need to make their point in an exaggerated fashion.
- “Have we thought deeply about the implications of this strategy? Of course, we have.”
- “Do you think I care about this issue more than others? You’d be right to think so.”
- “Why am I so disappointed in your actions? Because they will have a big impact on others.”
In moments when you are highly confident or convicted and have a desire to persuade others more forcefully, you might be surprised at how often you use this cue.
Asking and answering your own question is not a problem until it is overused. Then it signals to others that you are over your skis and too confident to be trusted. Overusing any marker of confidence produces a “Titanic effect” where others are more likely to view you as arrogant or full of hubris.
While over-indexing on any confidence cue or marker can create negative evaluations, specific cues, like the one we’ve discussed, can be more easily problematic. Leaders and speakers are often unaware of how frequently they use certain confidence markers. Becoming more aware and intentional about how you project confidence is critically important for developing a style that works best.
Did you already know that? We didn’t think so. Are you ready to become more conscious of how you project confidence? We hope so. Oops!
