Philosopher Blaise Pascal reminded us, “If you want people to think well of you, do not speak well of yourself.”
But since Pascal wrote those words in the 17th century, we have learned much about modesty, humility, and letting others know what you have achieved. As Pascal correctly inferred, bragging about one’s accomplishments is a surefire way to create negative judgments and get rejected by others.
The so-called humblebrag is even worse. That’s when a person combines a boastful statement with a complaint, such as, “I’m so tired of being asked to give groundbreaking keynote presentations.” No one wants someone else’s achievements thrown in their face, especially if they complain about them to appear less self-serving.
Because people intuitively know this, they often play down their achievements to avoid appearing arrogant or boastful. But that creates a different problem.
Research confirms that people who don’t tell others what they have accomplished or about their favorable results are often overlooked and thought to be less successful than others who do. While letting others discover your strengths is a powerful strategy, not telling others about what you have accomplished too often promotes the view that your work is mediocre at best and that you are not ready to do even more.
So, how do the best leaders promote their achievements while not coming across as conceited or arrogant? The key is to tell others about your setbacks before sharing the achievement. Before talking about what you have accomplished, first tell others about the quicksand and challenges you faced in getting there.
This is where humility and modesty diverge. Being humble without being overly modest is where the best leaders land. Before tooting your own horn, you must first describe some of the mistakes and difficulties you encountered along the way. This creates a very different image of you in the minds of others, one that is both self-promotional and, at the same time, humble.
By admitting the struggle before success, humility takes root but avoids the modest silence that too often submarines the notice it takes to advance in the workplace and in life. People need to know of your results and accomplishments to offer you more opportunity, but they place greater trust in your character when you show humility in the process.
