Here’s a fact for everyone who lives a busy life: You say “Yes” far too often. You agree to attend, participate, speak, and lend a hand to others more often than you should. The reasons you lack the discipline to say “No” as often as you should are legion.
You want people to like you. You honestly want to help others. Your priorities are more fluid than they should be. You underestimate what saying “Yes” will mean later. Showing up for others makes you feel important. Getting others to say “Yes” to your requests means saying “Yes” to theirs. Agreeing to requests builds relationship capital. We don’t want to miss out on something exciting. You feel selfish when you say “No.” Did we mention you want people to like you? Give that reason bonus points.
Every time you say “Yes” to requests and invitations you shouldn’t, the priorities that form the basis for your effectiveness and success are deprived of much-needed energy and focus. The stronger your commitment to a set of important priorities and passions, the easier it is to say “No,” even when there are good reasons to comply.
The test is not to say “No” instead of “Yes.” The challenge is to remind yourself how important your priorities are or to find new ones that are worthy of your time. As the saying goes, It is always easier to say “No” when you have a strong “Yes” somewhere else.
You know that aligning your time commitments with your personal goals and values is of the highest order for success. So, as you consider making a resolution or two for personal improvement to start the New Year, consider adding this simple challenge: How many days can you count without saying “Yes” to a request you shouldn’t have?
It’s inevitable to misstep and agree to an invitation or request that you later regret. No one achieves a perfect score or makes it through the year without a blemish or 10. This is a challenge of time. How long can you go without saying “Yes” when you shouldn’t have? Shoot for weeks and not days, but whatever your record, make a note of it and then start the challenge again.
Keep this up throughout the year. If you can eliminate even a handful of “Yes” responses that previously drew you away from your own priorities, then you will have become more productive. Productivity depends on the discipline to say “No” instead of “Yes” more often. The clock starts today.
