In far too many organizations and teams, asking for help is viewed as a weakness rather than a smart move.
When seeking assistance becomes a sign of incompetence, team members hide their struggles and work independently without making the progress they could.
Over time, this breeds stress, burnout, overwhelm, and isolation on the team. Performance suffers as well.
Not surprisingly, research on teams suggests that how often and how quickly people seek help is an important sign of a healthy and collaborative team. In teams where people feel comfortable asking for help, expertise becomes a shared asset.
The outcome is nothing short of remarkable.
When people are comfortable asking for help, decision quality improves, risks are identified sooner, trust grows between teammates, innovative solutions emerge, and both team and individual performance increase.
Whether team members commonly ask for help and seek assistance depends on how help-seeking is viewed in an organization.
When asking for help is associated with incompetence, burdening others, and lacking the skills to work through a problem independently, people wait until they are in trouble before asking. In many instances, people would rather fail than admit they need a lifeline.
When asking for help is instead associated with competence, learning, good judgment, and teamwork, people ask earlier and more often.
In teams where leaders understand the importance of creating a help-seeking culture, making it easier for people to ask for help is essential work. Shifting toward a positive association with help-seeking normally requires intentional effort by leaders.
The most common advice is for leaders to model help-seeking by visibly asking for advice, assistance, and support themselves.
The logic is that if the leader shows that they need help on occasion, then it is safe for everyone else to do so as well. Better leaders also push the idea that asking for help and assisting each other are how great teams achieve high-quality work.
Something less obvious leaders can do to promote help-seeking is to make sure team members know who they are expected to seek help from.
This clarity occurs before they begin assignments. “Be sure to check in with Sarah on this, as she has solved it before.” Or “Mike’s experience will be valuable to you as you work through the issue. Be sure to seek his help.” Comments like these reinforce the idea that asking for help is both expected and necessary.
But the best leaders do something counterintuitive. They make help-seeking about the helper.
People naturally enjoy being trusted, viewed as experts, seen as useful, and relied on for support. When asking for help is a gift to the helper, those needing assistance are more likely to request it.
The best leaders promote the view that asking for help is a sign of respect for those who willingly offer it. By asking, team members recognize the helper’s expertise — which is itself a reward.
It is a huge compliment to be asked to help. So, seeking assistance honors the one being asked. Leaders and teams that hold this belief, and articulate it frequently, encourage more help-seeking from everyone.
Good leaders and teams treat help-seeking as a routine part of teamwork. When asking for help feels normal, safe, and rewarding, people ask early.
Contrary to common wisdom, the highest-performing teams aren’t the ones with the fewest people who need help. They are the teams with people who view asking for help as a contribution.
How do your organization and team stack up? Can we help you with that?
