Key Quote:
“Our competitive instincts lead us to anchor off the most successful people we know, and we’re disappointed when the person in the mirror doesn’t match those achievements” (p. 31).
Key Points and Concepts
Part One: The Day
The Basics
Working to build the life you are told you deserve and are capable of causes stress. Bad things happen, but by mid-life you learn to be grateful and can move towards happiness. “So if in adulthood you find you’re stressed, even unhappy at times, recognize that this is a normal part of the journey and just keep on keepin’ on. Happiness is waiting for you” (p. 12).
It is in fact in your younger years where hard work and grit matter. “The slope of trajectory for your career is (unfairly) set in the first five years post-graduation.” This is the time where doing leads to success, and watching leads to failure (p. 13).
What to Focus On
Credentials + Zip Code = Money: Location matters, and opportunity occurs in cities. “Big cities are Wimbledon – even if you aren’t Rafael Nadal, your game will improve by being on the court with him. And you’ll either get in better shape or learn you shouldn’t be at Wimbledon” (p. 20).
Discover What Makes You Happy: Discover and document the things that give you joy and satisfaction. Understanding what interests you and what hobbies you want to take part in adds to your personality (p. 21).
Invest Early and Often: Understand the importance of not only investing in passions but investing in money early into your career (p. 23). Take time to invest in experiences and not items. Instead of driving an expensive car, take your family on the trip of a lifetime.
Find Your Inspiration: Invest in things that make you want to beat your chest. This could be being a good citizen by helping a neighbor or taking part in civic duties such as voting (p. 24).
Equity = Wealth: The definition of being “rich” is spending less than what you earn. The definition of “poor” is just the opposite (p. 26).
Give Someone a Good Death: Be with the people you love the most, and provide comfort for those who are nearing the end of their lives (p. 29).
Happiness = Family: Having family and those you love with you at every milestone contributes to your overall happiness (p. 30).
Resilience/Failure = Success: “The key to success is the ability to mourn and then move on” (p. 31).
Nothing Is Ever as Bad or as Good as It Seems: Do not dwell on where others are on their paths to success, love, and wellness. “Our competitive instincts lead us to anchor off the most successful people we know, and we’re disappointed when the person in the mirror doesn’t match those achievements” (p. 31).
Success
Get Hungry: Hunger can be defined as the chaser that takes talent over the top into success. The first step is understanding where your hunger comes from. This can “illuminate the differences between success and fulfillment” (p. 36).
Don’t Follow Your Passion: Not many people start their career doing exactly what they are passionate about. “Your job is to find something you’re good at, and after ten thousand hours of practice, get great at it. The emotional and economic rewards that accompany being great at something will make you passionate about whatever that something is” (p. 45).
Learn Simple Stuff First: Professionalism and good manners matter and will increase the slope of your trajectory to success.
• Show up
• Have good manners
• Follow up
Believe You Deserve It: 70% of Americans feel a sense of Impostor Syndrome. When success comes, the feeling that you are fooling people sometimes kicks in. This can lead to thinking that you are not deserving of success. The key is to work on squashing these thoughts before they continue to get louder (p. 57).
Surround Yourself with Friends and Family: Knowing that you have friends and family who surround you and believe in you makes all the difference. “Achievement is just a moment in pencil unless you can share it with people you care about” (p. 60).
Find Your Voice: Find the confidence to tell your story. Know your strengths and hone your craft (pp. 61-63).
Know Your Worth: Understand that what you bring to the table professionally may no longer be relevant to your employer. Your market value will fade, so make the most of it (pp. 66-67).
Entrepreneurship: Do not become an entrepreneur if you are not comfortable with uncomfortable situations. Entrepreneurs work without getting paid, endure public failure, are master sellers and risk takers, and must know when they have entered the professional danger zone (pp. 69-79).
The Path to Success
Be Humble: “This humility will result in your living within your means and will prepare you financially and psychologically for the next card you’re dealt” (p. 84).
Measure What Matters: Taking time to assess and measure what matters in your life provides accountability and insight.
Know The Ends to The Means: “Professional success is the means, not the end. The end is economic security for your family and more important, meaningful relationships with family and friends” (p. 92).
Learn from Rejection: The willingness to endure rejection allows you to take more risks and get comfortable with reaching outside your comfort zone (p. 95).
Serendipity is a Function of Courage: Take some sort of risk every day, and get comfortable with asking for what you want (p. 95).
Be A Good Employee: It is better to be an employee for a good firm than an entrepreneur. It takes the following qualities to be a good employee (pp. 96-99).
• Be a grown-up
• Have civility
• Be secure with yourself
Be a Good Role Model: Become a role model and a guiding figure by taking interest in someone or by making someone feel visible. Acknowledge your role models and be aware that they gave to you in a time of need, and now you can do the same for someone else (p. 106).
Love
“Love and relationships are the ends—everything else is just the means.” “Love received is comforting, love reciprocated is rewarding, and love given completely is eternal” (p. 113).
Who you find as a partner matters because that person should be the one by your side adding value, supporting you, and vice versa. A partner is someone with whom you can share what you have created and feed each other’s happiness (p. 128).
Touch: “Touch is truly fundamental to human communication, bonding, and health… Touch activates the brain’s orbitofrontal cortex, which is linked to the feelings of reward and compassion… Touch signals safety and trust, it soothes.” – Dacher Keltner, professor of psychology, UC Berkeley. If not by touch, give affection by telling someone you love them as much as you can (p. 138).
Affection: “Getting to a place, economically, emotionally, and spiritually, where you can love someone completely, without expecting anything in return, is the absolute” (p. 190).
Health
Grit: At work demonstrate both your physical and mental strength your grit. Although exerting strength and diligence is important, it is also important to show the other side of emotions. Various business settings can cause stress and anxiety (p. 169).
The Beauty of Crying: Crying is a way to relieve this type of tension towards emotions that are initially hard to process. On the other hand, “Crying as a result of happiness is a response to a moment as if it’s eternal; the person is frozen in a blissful, immortalized present” (pp. 201-203).
Be More in the Moment: Being in the moment and not looking forward, constantly worried about the tasks of tomorrow, is hard to do. In Galloway’s mind, it is the difference between waiting for your flight, and filling the time with work emails and calls, and instead going to duty free, buying cured ham, and sitting at the bar with a pilsner. “Delaying gratification, so we can build a better tomorrow for us, our family, and others. You can’t miss too many planes, as people on the other end are counting on you. But there is value to waving your middle finger at the x factor, getting lost in pork, and missing a few (p. 211).
Gratitude: Take part in and take time for gratitude. “Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish life’s experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships” (p. 216).
Praise Others: Commit time to articulate the things that you are grateful for. Take time to give compliments, telling people what you find impressive about them (p. 216).
Galloway, S. (2019). The Algebra of Happiness: Notes on the Pursuit of Success, Love and Meaning. New York: Portfolio Penguin.
“Find Your Inspiration: Invest in things that make you want to beat your chest. This could be being a good citizen by helping a neighbor or taking part in civic duties such as voting.”
“How Can We Improve Our Project Work? This ritual is intended “to help team members clarify their intentions for in-progress work and expand the number of options available to them.”
Recommended for teams that are creating tangible deliverables.”
“Gratitude: Take part in and take time for gratitude. “Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish life’s experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”